April 16, 2025

Thank you for showing me your vulnerability

I love you baby, i love you so much. Those words that we convey after we cry in front of each other. Last night, its the first time I saw you crying that much, I've seen you crying before but not this long. There's only one thing on my mind seeing you cry, I really want to hug you at that moment, unfortunately I cant, I can only see your eyes through the screen. It is hard, but you and I have to stand strong overcoming this moments. 

I hope in the next near future, you are not afraid showing me your worries, your sadness, your vulnerablity in front of me baby. It really hurts me a bit when you said you are hesitant to show me all of them because you are afraid I'll leave your side if you do those things, I wont, baby, Insha Allah.. when I say I'm ready to be with you, I accept all of your part, not only the good part, but the not so good part as well. I was also stunned when you said you are so worried when I often say I got headache, because you dont want bad things happen to me and I just realized how much you love me. Thank you baby. 

Insya Allah baby this moments too shall pass, dont worry and dont put pressure on your shoulder too much, share those burdens to me as well, thats what partners are for, I'm here for you not only for the good things, but the not so good things as well. I may not be much help for your problem or worries, but I can be your number one supporter and tell you that those problems are nothing and you are way bigger than them. 

I love you always, ayang ❤️

February 15, 2025

Day 18 with Can ❤︎

Actually I'm not sure which day to use to count our relationship, so I guess I'll use the day when we matched on the yellow app :) 

Its only the eighteenth day of us, but it feels like we've been knowing each other for a long time. You even felt the same thing. Maybe because of the familiarity, it makes us feel comfortable with each other. You are such an amazing person. You inspire me to be a better version of myself. Not only amazing, but you are such a sweet partner as well. You always flatter me with your kind words. You also keep lifting me up and cheering me up for everything, especially my weight-losing journey. You really assured me that you love me for who I am, but you make me wanna be better and healthier person so that we can keep growing older together. 

Everyday it feels like I always want to love you more. You told me to do this and to do that, but I don't feel like they are a burden, because I know at the end its me who will benefit from them. I even ditch my favorite thing to start the day everyday, coffee. I really love coffee that when I didn't have it in the morning I'll be cranky and sleepy. But when you know that habit of mine, you told me to ditch it and I listen to you. Because deep down I know coffee is bad when its consumed everyday. 

Everyday I also feel like you are here with me though you are not next to me. I cant believe you even love the clingy side of me. Those butterflies really fly in my stomach. Those countless hours of us video calling, I really appreciate that you spare your precious time for me. Even when you are sleepy but you still hear me yapping even watch me cry as well. Even when we only stare at each other, it doesn't feel awkward because deep down we know, those stare say more words than anything. 

Thank you baby for choosing me and staying with me even when you know my situation will make us do this long distance relationship. Thank you baby for letting me know how it feels when somebody really put efforts in loving their significant other. 

When you said, without you I'm happy, but with you I'm happier. That really hits me because its really the same for me. I'm so relieved because I get to meet someone so secured and mature as you. 

Even with those high quality variables mentioned above, you also love your family more than anyone. It really fascinates me when I hear you speaking with your family. You are so gentle I really love it. You are also so soft when you are talking with me, but when you are talking with your family you even get more gentle. You are really the embody of that soft-spoken man people talk in social media. 

Baby, this is only the beginning, so I pray to Allah bless us in this journey, I also pray to Allah to close the distance between us by transferring my work to Jakarta within this year. So that I can always be by your side, by my family. I pray to Allah both of our parents approve us to continue to the next level of our relationship. I pray to Allah, so that Allah always protects me from your bad side and vice versa that Allah always protects you from my bad side. I pray to Allah that Allah bless us with more prosperity to turn our relationship into a secured little family of our own. Oh Allah please grant my pray.. aamiin