its a fat lie if i aint worried

Been a long time im not writing on my blog. Kinda miss it so im back. I dont really have any specific topic for this post so i'll just jot down whats on my mind these days.

Worrying something is very human, especially when you worry about some specific result about your future career or the future significant other that is nowhere to be seen. I have been on this long process for half year and more. The process that i have to overcome in order to transfer workplace closer to my family. Because i work for govt, the bureaucracy is such a pain in the a**. It is so tiresome and complicated. Mostly what i do is waiting. After i accomplished one thing, the next thing i have to do is waiting patiently and look for the perfect timing to execute the next milestone. May Allah gives the best result and transfer my workplace so that i can live with my family.. Insha Allah 🥲 im lying if i said living alone and far from your family is not hard.. 

Actually this is the least thing on my mind to worry about, because taking care of the transfer process is already draining my mind, but tbh sometimes im also worried my future s/o is nowhere to be seen... kinda longing that feeling when you have butterfly on your tummy.. i want to feel it again 😔 i'll be thirty in two years, so its scary to think that im currently not in any serious relationship with anyone 😭 but Allah is the best planner so i shouldnt be worried... 

I used to have big fat crush with few people, then it breaks my heart when i realize they're with someone already, but actually i move on quickly because there is really nothing happened between us. Recently there's this person that is catching my attention. He's actually my coworker and in my age. That person these days comes to my room and checks on me, simply saying good morning, and conversing about work and etc, then he goes back to his room. I dont really get wrong idea because i'm not really sure what he means by doing such things. Moreover i also dont know if i wanna spend the rest of my live with him or not (over thinking is pisces trait 😂😂😂)  

Well.. for now i'll just do my best for things that in my control and not worry about things that is not in my control. I believe that Allah already has the best decision for me and my surroundings. Aamiin.